Cultivating my garden...allow me to wax philosophical for a bit

Like everyone I have personal flaws.

I am way too judgmental and concerned about what other people do. Wayyyyy too much so.
I am lazy. Super duper lazy.
I am overly concerned with how others view me.

In light of these various personality flaws Voltaire has been 'speaking to me'

He says 'cultivate your garden'

Meaning don't worry about all the things you can't control. Don't focus on how others are living. Don't obsess over things that don't concern you. Grow your life. Tend your life. Solve the problems that you can effect that affect you.

I have been very strongly attempting to do this. I will catch my mind wandering in a spiral or judgment about someone that has nothing to do with me and switch off that track and focus on my own life. I don't know how yet to stop myself from starting to think of these things but I am getting good at catching it and stopping it.

I am trying to be active/proactive in making my life what I want, parenting as I want, getting the outcomes that I want and can effect through my actions. Its hard. I don't want to clean the house, I want it to be clean. I don't want to listen to the boy drone on about his bionicles, I just want him to feel like I care. I don't want to teach my kids how to do math, I just want them to know. DOING is so much harder than WISHING.

I am who I am and I have to evaluate what I want with my life and stop worrying about people disagreeing with me or being angry that I disagree or trying to impress them BY disagreeing. I can only offer who I am and knowing who I am is a hard, hard thing. I am impressed and respectful of many of my friends life decisions. The way the live, what they believe, how they do things in their life. But I very much need to separate out that respect and admiration from wanting to 'do it like them'. In a way this is the easier 'issue' to deal with because I do have a strong ability to respect but vary. Its the identification of where I vary thats the problem!